where am i from again
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize