well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
