is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
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