Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize