I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
