Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
