Having a random hookup so left but love u
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
