hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
