Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
