Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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