he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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