so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
