My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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