with your own penis?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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