Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Blood and glitter go together right?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
