I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
