16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
