Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
