Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
