i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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