the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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