She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
