Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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