youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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