It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
