Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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