some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Just puked most of my soul out..
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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