Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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