i may or may not be watching the land before time
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
