A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize