But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
