after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
