these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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