i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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