Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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