Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
