id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
