do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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