I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
