too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
