Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
