Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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