Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
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