Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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