Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
