you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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