drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
