i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
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