he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
