you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
