She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
