i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
